Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Joy Of Anticipation

The joy of a prayer being answered
Of a longing being fulfilled
Solitary moments coming to an end
The joy of distances being killed

The joy of a promise being honoured
Of destinies forever entwined
Drinking from the wisps of your fragrance
The joy of passions, strong and sublime

The joy of touching my dreams
Of a smile being smiled for real
Strolling together along boulevards
The joy of sharing the silent words

Life begins again only in your presence
The anticipation of a much-awaited arrival
The rest of my life unlived and still
Just trudging along for survival

Greatest is the joy of anticipation
Of happiness flooding once again
The joy of wishing and hopes soaring
Cherishing even the sweetness of your pain

The joy of being completed
Of peace and serenity
The joy when you say to me
Estoy enamorado de ti :)

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Thursday, November 18, 2010

When DOS And I Talked

There are times when I feel completely off the hook. Which, in simple terms, means that I freak out completely and make the lives of my near and dear ones hell by going into compulsive talking mode. Those times are the ones when I feel so over-excited for no reason and that is followed by unadulterated jubiliation/sadness. Corazon and Mehr would know, for when I message them "Hey, guess what, I'm feeling drunk without drinking. So Talli :D Hehe", they know it signals trouble and they then suffer my persistent chatter. Well, whatever, I care for my fun alone :p

So yesterday was one such night when I had lost it completely. Well, no, I wasn't feeling tunn at all, but I had this irrepressible desire to talk to someone about nothing in particular, and the knowledge that the two jokers wouldn't be availabe only increased that desire exponentially. (Note: Rarely does it happen that I have the desire to talk just for the sake of it, because usually those urges are accompanied by main-talli-ho gayiii... :p) Anyway, with nothing particular to do, I decided to run MS DOS on my PC (I actually had two files and a project to submit immediately, but I was pretending not. I lost 20 marks today because of my laziness :D I'm so cool!). I was completely sure it wouldn't run given my brand new machine is from the zamana of Baba Aadam, but well, it did run!!! Somehow, instead of typing commands, I started doing something else and...I ended up having a nice little chat with DOS :p The following is the complete conversation between DOS and me. It is full of non sense, so please please please please DO NOT JUDGE ME FOR IT!! Every human succumbs to mistakes sometime or the other; I was being very kiddish last night. And it doesn't even seem so funny now, but I decided to post it anyway. Go ahead, have fun... :p

For your convenience, my part in the dialogue has been highlighted bold, rest of the words are what DOS said to me.


Microsoft Windows XP [Version 5.1.2600]
(C) Copyright 1985-2001 Microsoft Corp.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>lol
'lol' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>haha i ws jst fooling wid u!!!
'haha' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>bah! u gt no sense f humour DOS...
'bah!' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>im jst ridculing u, do u need to be told the meaning f everything?? dats really gross :-/
'im' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>OMG!! nw u refuse to identify ME!!!!! hw cud u
do dis to meee????? *sob* *sob*
'OMG!!' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>u son of a bithch, OMG is Oh my god...dis tells
me dat ur not on facebook/orkut/myspace/chrome/dailyflog/or other stuff like dat and dats y u r not updated wid the latest lingo dude,...seriously DOS, ur so uncool,
dont u evr feel th need to go out there n make urslf noticd??? no seriously?
i mean look at ur half brother WINDOWS, he z so cool, ur a disaster DOS
'u' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>i just realized i misspelled bitch. im sorry.
so ur a son of a bitch. not son of a bithch. but it dsnt realy matter to u does
it?? bah!!
'i' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>duh..does ur vocabulary hav any words at all
DOS??? ur realy freaking me out
'duh..does' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>its okay, i know ur just pretending to not understand me. u knw im going thru one of my mood swings. or maybe im just once agn feeling drunk widout drinking?/(dats a talent f mine). or maybe im an alien. or
maybe in just a freak. watvr the case, u hv a good strategy DOS. its grt to
pretend to be ignorant. as i wlays say, ignorance is bliss.. so keep th cool okay?
bcoz very soon i'l go bak to b psuedo-normal again n go back to not talking to
stuff like DOS!
'its' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>im sorry, did i hurt ur feelings by calling u a
THING??? my bad. how could i do dat! let me make up to u. DOS i love u
'im' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>im is me DOS, i knw ur sick f my mood swings,
but it'd me nice fr u to atleast acknowledge my existence. but i forgive u. coz u
listen to me n let me talk to u DOS. DOS u myt nt b very cool but u hv a huge
heart. seriously.
'im' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>do u love me too DOS? i mean, how many ppl come n talk to u?? aren't u glad? u must have been deprived of company for ages. u r welcome :-*
'do' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>yeah, i knw 'do' wont b recgnized... i dnt wanna do nythng eithr, we'll just talk today okay?? we'll fuck u up some other time
n use ur commands wen im feeling mor normal. u love me?? i knw dat alrdy, so just shut up alryt!!
'yeah' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>u suck DOS. nw u dnt recognise 'yeah'. cant u
evn pretend to agree wid me? r u sch a male chauvnist pig? hv u evn noticd th
nmbr f spelling errors iv made? dnt u hv th courtsy to corect them on ur own? do u
nw realize y ur so uncool? WINDOWS ds al f it in WORD. u jst suck DOS. ur fucking jealous f ur half brother n u still cnt work up ur ass n do smthng abt it. no
wonder nobody loves u. n gues wat, i dont love u eithr. hah! eat potty now!!! u
sahn-ahf-ah-bahtch (dats son-of-a-bitch, if ur primitive mind couldnt understand
'u' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>bahahahahaha..wat els wud u do, u cnt take insult in ur face hahahaha!!!! al u cn do is go ovr n ovr o ovr agn n agn like a
parrot n say 'not recognised' 'not recognised' LOL. o hw i pity u hahah!! coz u gt
no answer to my accusations LOl.
'bahahahahaha..wat' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>its the laughter f victory DOS, wich u wont evr
get to xprnce coz im so fucking awesome

'its' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>potty u DOS
'potty' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>potty is the brown mass of indigestble stuff..o
i frgt ur jst an electronic manifestation of codes n cryptics n commnads n so u
nver tasted food n so u cant make potty of ur own. dats kind f sad. u dnt evn get to fart do u?? o poor u... dat cud b so mch fun. u shud realy taste food some
times. its osom! do u like mayonnaise??
'potty' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>leave potty now DOS. dnt mk ur heart sad over
it. but do u like mayonnaise? i like white mayonnaise more. i eat anything with
lemon/coconut/Shimla mirch/cream/mayonnaise in it, separately ofcourse
'leave' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>DOS im an incredible cook. dd u knw dat? so u
knw it now. i'l mk u smthng sometime okay? u'l love it. so wat do u like more DOS? undercooked food or burnt food? im an expert at both. u r welcome. i cn evn microwave th food fr u, if u order frm outside. dat wud b a btr option. u r welcome again.
'DOS' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>for-fucking-sake, DOS is u!! duh. LOL so u wr
so lost in the wonders f my food dat u forgot urself hmm? hahaha :) i like it.
'for-fucking-sake' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>now dont get naughty alryt, fuck is to..well, u
Knw... y cant u ask WINDOWS? im sure he must hv fuckud many virgin PC's. he goes into al f them LOL. bloody international thok-er hahahah
'now' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>now, no dont do it now! ul hav to find a miss
DOS first, if ur not gay that is. i'l help u set up with a pretty babe okay? ask
everybody, im an expert at helping ppl hook up LOL
'now' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>not now okay. listen to mommy. n wen u hook up,
do take precautions okay? ajkal duniya bahut kharab hai beta...
'not' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>good. not now :)
'good.' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>good yes :)
'good' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>stop repaeating after me!!!!
'stop' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>STOP!!!!
'STOP!!!!' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>this is not done DOS, i come to u to talk coz i
gt no one else to eat thier ears n this is wat u do to me? is this how u treat
ur frinds? do u want to b lft alone agn? shall i go bak to WINDOWS. we need to sort out the issues okay?
'this' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>u knw wat, im not taking anymore shit from u. u
suck dude. totally. ur such a lujjer
'u' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>lujjer. lujjer. lujjer. i hope ur babe is a
direct spin-off frm a K-serial. n she elopes wid WINDOWS. dat'l serve u ryt. n ul b
uncle to thier kids hahaha. n ul take them to and from the server to take their
lessons. n ul babysit them wen ur ex-babe n WINDOWS r off agn on der never ending honeymoon. n ul repent dat day for bahaving like dis to me. n ul regret every
thing coz i advised u to b cool but u ddnt listen. dat wil b th doom f u DOS. ur
a lujjer forever. goodbye DOS
'lujjer' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>exit


That's all :p

Untill later, Cuidate!

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Sunday, October 31, 2010

Monkey And Me - I

Well, most of us have gone through our "waiting period" to get into some god-damn college. All those blissful hours of uselessness, those afternoons spent peacefully slumbering aware of the fact that we are good for nothing and won't get admission anywhere, cherishing our nocturnal existence and pretending to be rockstars while we are the only "unemployed" memebers of the family, getting to know the ceiling of our rooms like the back of our hand, having all the time in the world and still working hard to do nothing, lying sprawled on the bed in all our conscious moments, being comforted by the fact that the next day was going to be exactly like today...nothing to do, nothing to care about...gosh! That was the best time of my life! I wish I could bring it back...

But like all good things in the world, that happy period had to end too. To everybody's surprise, and I mean to entirely everybody's surprise (read: happy shock), I got into a college! (Yes! Can you believe it? Nor can I!)

If you are one of those people who think college is all about fun, masti, freedom, independence, carelessness, adventure, madness, anarchy, fun exploring trips, spontaneity and gaeity, then my college is not the place to go to. My shiksha ka mandir (accompanied with the gesture of a sweep of my hand in a semicircle above my head) is a place devoid of any abovementioned possibilities in the normal sense. It is located in a very busy area of Old Delhi where the traffic sense is so bad you can get squished to pulp anyday, anytime. It's a thrilling experience! I myself have had the fortunate chance to just escape from being crushed between a DTC and a Tata Safari once; two more occasions too but I can't recall the vehicles involved. And not many days untill I do get crushed, given how careless I am and one has to cross the intersection without traffic lights to get the photocopy done. Yay, adrenaline! (I wonder if boyfriends can be called widowers :p Haha! Oh well, that's the sort of humour I've been reduced to.) Since the crowd is what should be typical of Old Delhi, it's not a very good idea to venture into the local markets (they mostly sell autoparts anyway). Feeling hungry, want a quickie? Worry not, Makhanlal Halwai comes to the rescue! There is nothing of interest where you can go and hang out, the only relief being the somewhat well-equipped metro station a small walk away.

So that was the area around the campus. Now I'll tell you what an incredible campus my shiksha ka mandir has. As has already been mentioned, the xerox shop within the campus remains forever closed. Before you judge too soon, let me tell you that this is done intentionally so that students can get a first hand experience of relying on their instincts and learning to survive. Not to mention the adventure, ofcourse. Apart from the closed xerox shop, the world-class facilities present on-campus, as proudly stated on the site, include a fine basket-ball court (which is used as a parking lot), tennis court (sorry, I haven't been able to locate it yet, but the search goes on), badminton court (my peers play on clay, where clay means kichad...and yes, the excessive rains have made the court appear black), gymnasium (again, invisible), library housing 18,000 books (hah! it seems so tiny), cool cafeteria ( kidding, for some mysterious reason it was filled with smoke the two times I've been there), et cetera, et cetera.

Though the main feature is the huge, sprawling, lush, evergreen, wonderful, terriffic, awesome, yudli-yudli-yoo ground, bang in the middle, surrounded by buildings on all sides. Trust me when I say its heavenly. The first time I lay my eyes on it, all I thought was that the administration had taken the words "green" campus too literally. I mean, the grass literally flourished :p You could play hide-and-seek in it, or receive guerilla training! Or go explore its exponentially high biodiversity! Anything new you desire, the taller-than-everyone grass is sure to offer you :') can't sit there, and crossing it is a tad bit difficult sometimes... :p And yes, a small group of boys also displays chivalry by trying to play soccer there. Alas, they neither offer me the chance to watch a decent game nor the oppurtunity to have a new crush. Well, you can't have the best of everything I guess :p

Jannat :) But...there was a shady character in that delightful place. I was being stalked, let's refer to him as monkey.

( -to be continued)

Sunday, October 17, 2010

A Little Bit Of Time - II

( -continued)

But...God is cruel :p

Despite all the pains that I took to avoid one of my biggest phobias, destiny was determined to teach me a lesson. Against all odds, I developed a very curious liking for a certain person quite many months before. And so, as is my habit of taking everything to the extremes, I would spend four out of the five school hours staring at my "object of fascination" :p I can't even begin to count the number of people for whom I provided entertainment...sigh! But the point is, no amount of comments, sniggery, jeering or even encouragement prevented me from my, er, quest :p Life was all roses untill I realized that my "object of fascination" would be transported some roughly 1714.64 kilometers or 1065.43 miles away :p I was doomed. Given a choice, I would always be the one to leave than to be left behind. But Vivre did not mean that to be!! Being the snobbish little friend that she is, she felt a moral obligation to teach me lessons of life :p "Archika...thou shalt wait! Thou shalt wait! Thou shalt wait! Wuhahaha!" she bellowed :p (Note: Friends like Vivre are also sometimes the prickiest hair in your nose :p)

I thought it couldn't get worse than this and made peace with the situation. But can a story be complete without the twists and turns? Nay, friends, nay! The scriptwriter of my life story thought it would be a good idea to throw in another sub-plot. And goes Mehr, my best buddy, to Thailand! (That's a mere 2917.88 kilometres or 1813.14 miles away!) Vivre stole the oppurtunity to whisper into my ears, "Thank me Archika, I'm making sure you are completely alone so that you master the lesson." I tell you, Vivre is such a witch :p

Well, it hasn't been easy at all. God is cruel. Even though he knew I'm incapable of cultivating patience, he did not bless me with the superpower of teleporting :p (I can telepathy, in case you were wondering :p) And though I recently met Corazon (for which I'm very grateful), it does not suffice. It's like eating momos when you are very hungry. You think they will do for the time being only to realize that you want more :p

It's roughly three months more before I see him again. 3 months= 92 days= 2208 hours= 132480 minutes= 7948800 seconds :p Gasp! How will I survive?! The agony!

Well, I don't know about me, but yes, we will definitely survive :) After all, if the presence of the other is always felt, what more can one ask for. Even though the distance remains, he is always there, listening to all the blabberings and daily futile chit-chats of me :p So from the pointless complaints of how bored I am to his chuckling when I tell him how a common friend commented how do I manage to sit in class without having "someone" to stare at, he bears it all ;) From making me laugh to listening to the serious stuff, he does it all. He never complains if you are being bratty and demanding too much attention :p He will do all the things in his power that you ask him to. And if you happen to mention in passing what a bad day you had, he will call you and very subtly help you unwind and talk and relax. We will survive...also because the three beautiful hours together will be treasured forever, and the three months apart will one day be a distant memory :)

And Mehr..I promise to get the gtalk sorted :p I miss you when the landline rings, for my brother, and not for me. I miss the sound of your laughter, and all the hours we spent seamlessly talking about anything and everything in the world :) The champions of random :p

When the people you love go away, even if temporarily, you wish you had just a little bit of time more. A little bit of time to laugh some more, to talk some more, to be silent together some more. And sometimes you feel so helpless, you wish you could freeze time to the happier moments. But life goes on. And the ones parted will also one day be reunited :)

Untill next time, Cuidate!

Friday, October 8, 2010

A Little Bit Of Time - I

Let me recount to you the events of the night when I was born. It was a historic night indeed. The moment the world heard my first cry (a sweet melodious screeching sound :p) the clouds joined in the symphony with great crackle and thundering. The inky blue sky was marred with great bolts of lightening. All winged creatures were panic stricken by the disaster just born and flew helter-skelter to search for safety. A heavy storm picked up and threatened to blow everything in the way. Gaint trees shook violently. The very Earth threatened to collapse. And then...suddenly...the sky parted...and a divine voice announced, "Archika shall be impatient forever!" :p

Well, pardon the exaggeration, but the truth persists. I was, am, and will be impatient. I hate having to wait! For as long as I can remember, I always had a nagging disgust for that evil device named "watch". Its two arms, like swords, always drove me to despair. The mockery in their slow parikrama was unbearable. I was a bit sympathetic to the seconds-hand though, the poor thing :p

So whenever I asked mom, "When do I go to the park?", pat came the reply, "In the evening". So I asked how many hours more before it would be evening. Two? Oh no! One hour=sixty minutes. One minute=sixty seconds. Two hours=___seconds? I was too young to do the math (and lazy, ofcourse) but I knew that it was a lot of seconds. Gasp! How will I survive? The agony! And so I would spend those two hours glancing at the watch time and again, cursing it for taunting me, writhing in torture.

Again, I would cheerfully ask, "Mom, when will you make ice-cream?" And mom would reply, "Next week. Don't pester me". So again a repeat show of the whole thing would take place. One week=seven days. One day=twenty four hours. One hour=sixty minutes. One minute=sixty seconds. Seven days=___seconds? Gasp! How will I survive?

Same thing happened with the time for dad to come home, for Holi to come (you see, I love getting wet and dirty :p), for vacations to begin, for vacations to end, for the ice-cream to set, for the cake to bake, for my first bicycle, for its first puncture, for new course books, for new novels...the list never ends. In fact, if a friend and I ever planned an outing and she would propose to pick me up, I would tweak everything and make sure I was the one to pick her up, just to avoid the torture of having to wait.

But...God is cruel :p

( -to be continued)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

The Hermit's Song - III

( -continued)
They care to remind us of our colonial past
To relive the pain of discriminations vast
Blue lane for the commonwealth, none for the rest
"O you slimy Indians, pay 2000 fine, what a pest"

And this is not all sir, pray wait
Come meet the autowallah "Mr. Fixed Rate"
You'll be surprised by the change in this man
Along with the cabbie and the policeman.

They have all had a terrific makeover
As if the very Gods of manners were sent over
"Thank you; welcome; sorry; no ma'am; oh yes"
"Atithi devo bhava" chants the cop as suffers your ass

You will find neither dirt nor dust
Not a leaf out of place, look if you must
Neither filthy roadside vendors, nor encroachments
Beggars? What's that? Some snack or refreshments?

We have ordered the daily wage labourers,
homeless people and under-bridge campers
to march out of Delhi; we care for our pride
You understand, gentlemen, we can't show our ugly side

The cattle and the dogs sometimes dot the sight
MCD has them all, we don't want you to get a bite
Some canines left are smart, they dodge the cars very well
But we're still figuring out the cows, as you can tell

But cleanliness and hygiene have been taken care of
Dustbins every few miles to make use of
Want to PEE? We have the LOO, not fret (:p)
Fitted with stench meters that won't work, my bet

Mahilayein avem Purush, please come with one
& two rupee coins, if you don't want to relief shun
Our toilets now also have the facilities of a steaming cuppa
Information tablets, nappy machines and what not, HURRAH!

Yes, the prospects are not as bleak as they seem
For there is one industry that is very keen
to take on the CWG, they are all prepared
to take the bull by the horns they are all geared

Mangomen, I'm talking about the sex workers of course
For where there is adrenaline, there will be testosterone
Momma Sheila has seen to the provision of protection
A baby boom is the last mess she'd want for the upcoming election

Miracles are still left, stories yet untold
Hold your breath as bizzarre wonders unfold
Do not blame me for coming on to them again
Maa Sheila's princes...they rise as we wane

They are all magicians, acme of perfection
A picture of confidence amidst pending construction
Unpaved tiles, unfitted lines, walls without paint
Unflushed toilets, waterless outlets, roads without drain

Incomplete stadiums and worldclass arenas
Inappropriate accomadations for champions and divas
Newspapers already filled with screaming headlines
"Filthy conditions" guests and participants whine

If that's not entertaining enough, we have more
Main stadium's roof collapses just days before
Leak proof structures oozing water like sponge
Chaos and panic all around as ministers lounge

Our tiny tots now learn new rhymes and growl
"Indian bridge is falling down, falling down"
Swanky street lights, street art and fixtures, all in vain
"Har jagah khuda" are the jokes doing the rounds nowadays.

The pulp of the mango-man has again gone pale
Because the Rain God decided this year he wouldn't us fail
The mighty black clouds, up above in the sky
Pouring like crazy, as if they wouldn't ever have another try

It doesn't really matter to me, I love rains
She is my co-conspirator in giving pains
to him, a certain spunky Manipal-ite
so that when he comes back he gets no respite (:p)

But wait, listen to what Maa Sheila says
She has back-up lest everything should fail
"Mangomen, thee shalt certainly not drowneth
Two wooden rafts are ready if Yamuna pounceth"

As is apparent, we are all charged up
To play hosts to the enchanted prince's mishap
Yes, we mongomen are scared, ready to be ashamed
Bacause the terrorists are game to have us framed

Two bikers attacking a tourist bus
Sparaying it with bullets, dude, that ain't guts
Using a pressure cooker to carry out blasts (!)
Our single autowallah (salute) was enough for your farce

A few more incidents here and there
Gave a few Britishers a good scare
"Indian security is in a lapse" they said
"We won't come" said three from the English contingent

Well, nothing could please us more, you know
Three people less before whom to bow
To rest we say "Come one come all
Watch as falls the Incredible India wall"

Thus sings the hermit of a far away land
Knowing Delhi will be able to pull off the sham
After all its JUGAAD, that mysterious quality of us Indians
Just be optimistic, and we'll win the hearts of millions :)

Well, let's hope things work out! Keep the Optimism-meter up you guys!!

Untill later, Cuidate!

Vote for me now!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Hermit's Song - II

( -continued)

So that happy incident laced with cheer
Drove the mango-man to despair
For this is the great Indian land, he knew
Where baraatis feast more than the groom

The mango-man was ripened out of his wits
For the ministers were rubbing their fists
"We shalt honour what the Lord has meant
Wealth of the COMMONwealth we shalt spend"

Here I pause to pinch my ears
Curse my tongue and begin with fear
For the politicia are my evil inspiration
And I weep for denouncing my motivation.

Zeal and passion governs their thirst
Enthusiasm and dedication to be the first
to gobble up the "greens"; waists are nurtured
They never burp, mind you, they are cultured.

It's very tiring work to rob the aam aadmi
A job one can't do without hath ki safai
It's a rare talent indeed, believe me or not
Who else could spend millions on toilet paper and pot

Nay gentlemen, don't smirk, don't sneer
The hardwork involved is still to you not clear
To think up road labyrinths is rocket science
Cultivating patience in the countrymen in traffic lines

They care to remind us of our colonial past
To relive the pain of discriminations vast
Blue lane for the commonwealth, none for the rest
"O you slimy Indians, pay 2000 fine, what a pest"

( -to be continued)

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Hermit's Song - I

(The characters and events in the hermit's song bear no resemblance to any person or incident whatsoever. The readers are not liable to accuse the author of any links with any political group or organization. Readers shall be prosecuted against if they scrutinize her bank accounts and financial assets (she has none, you see). Publicity and cheap popularity can also not be quoted as potential motives. However, sheer satire and sadism may be considered and brought into view)

In a land far far away
In a time long bygone
A prophecy was cast upon us
That had the populace torn

A commonwealth fairy, very pretty
told the enchanted Delhi dude
"Thou shalt be my host, o prince
And thou shalt me not elude"

Returned the happy prince charming
And chirruped to rajmata Sheila
"Maa, Maa, I bring forth good news
We will host the 2010 khel leela"

Beaming with pride, Maa Sheila wept
And held the prince close to her breast
"O my son, meri aankhon ka tara
Here, have mere hath ka halwa"

So that happy incident laced with cheer
Drove the mango-man to despair
For this is the great Indian land, he knew
where baraatis feast more than the groom

( -to be continued)

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Valleys In Between

Happy Independence Day XD

On this occasion of great joy, however, the tumults going on in the valley of Kashmir are disheartening. They have inspired this poem in me. Kashmir has been as much our mistake as much as it has been Pakistan's, and the Kashmiris themselves. We Indians have dealt the Kashmiris as much atrocities as we accuse the terrorists of.

However, it is time to have a two-way effort, to start new, to reach out a hand, to touch hearts once again, to not let the valleys in between deepen even more...

This poem shows the words I would like to say to my brother of the vaadi...the things he holds me responsible for, the things I am guilty of, and the things that went wrong...but also it has the hope of a new beginning...kuch kadam hamare, kuch tumhare...

यहाँ पर हूँ मैं, यहीं पर तुम हो
अपनी ही नफ़रत में ऐसे तुम गुम हो
हसीन ये वादी, गमगीन तुम्हारी रूह
न तो एक मुस्कान, न ही गुफ्तगू
तुम कहते हो तुम जुदा हो हमसे
कुछ कटे-कटे से, कतराते हो हमसे

हिचकते तुम हो, हिचकते हैं हम भी
कुछ कदम तुम चलो, कुछ चलें हम भी

सवालों का तीर तुम्हारी हर निगाह
पूछती हों जैसे "क्यूँ दी थी दगा"
दीवाली क्या ईद क्या रमज़ान का माह
गरजते थे गोले पटाखों की जगह
तुम कहते हो तुम खफा हो हमसे
कुछ-कुछ मायूस, नाराज़ हो हमसे

रुसवाँ तुम हो, रुसवाँ हैं हम भी
कुछ कदम तुम चलो, कुछ चलें हम भी

न कभी बड़ी हुई, न देखी कभी सुबह
तुम्हारी वो बेटी जो थी फूल की तरह
रौंदा उसे, बेइज़्ज़त किया हैवानों की तरह
कभी वहाँ के काफ़िर, कभी अपने बने वजह
तुम कहते हो हम कातिल हैं उसके
मैय्यत उठा दी हमने निकाह में उसके

नाराज़गी है वहाँ, शर्मिंदगी है यहाँ भी
कुछ कदम तुम चलो, कुछ चलें हम भी

काट दी पूरी ज़िंदगी क़ैद-सी में रहकर
तुम वहाँ के न हो सके वहीं के होकर
बंदूकों की ताल, बारूद-गोली का संगीत
यही सब सुना, बस, पत्थरों का गीत
तुम कहतो हो हम ज़ालिम हैं बस
गीराई तुम्हारी लाशें जब तुम थे बेबस

अंगारें हैं वहाँ, चिंगारी है यहाँ भी
कुछ कदम तुम चलो, कुछ चलें हम भी

हाँ हम दोषी हैं, पर सिर्फ़ हम ही तो नहीं
तुम्हारे खून का धब्बा बस हम पर ही नहीं
तुम कहते हो तुम हमारे अपने नहीं
वादी सिर्फ़ तुम्हारी है, हम हक़दार नहीं
क्या दूसरी शुरुआत की गुंजाइश नहीं?
जब इतनी दी जगह, तो दिल में क्यूँ नहीं?

चाहत है वहाँ, चाहत है यहाँ भी
कुछ कदम तुम चलो, कुछ चलें हम भी

Happy Independence Day, once again! :)

Untill later, Cuidate!

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Thursday, August 12, 2010

Mehr - III

( -continued)

But we had our sane moments as well.

When I had first met Mehr, she had been undergoing a personal crisis. I got to know about it almost an year later. Such was the strength of this girl that she almost always maintained a joyous exterior at school. Never bending down, never giving a clue to the hell that rioted her from within. When she finally did tell me, not only was I vastly surprised (because I believed Mehr's stomach to be incapable of digesting matters :p) but I also developed a deeper, more profound sense of respect for her.

Then there were times when she would just simply come because she did not know what to do. Be it buddy trouble, "SRK" trouble, real SRK trouble, lost-pen trouble, lost-everything trouble (yes, including lost bottles and umbrellas), haailaa..exams-round-the-corner anxiety (I wasn't much help in that field though, it gave me pleasure to scare her even more ;) ) mum-doesn't-let-me-read-novels-in-the-toilet trouble (I taunted her about this; "I do it all the time Mehr, become smarter"), and sometimes serious trouble as well. Many hours were spent comforting, consoling...

In the first board year, she told me she would be leaving next year. I never paid attention to it. "When the time comes", I thought, "I'll convince her to stay". What I had forgotten was that I could only convince her, not the family. And when the time did come, I discovered how utterly helpless I was. Mehr, when you left, it did hurt real bad. (There, I said it finally)

Luckily for us, distance deepened the bond even more. To Riya's utter ecstacy, I had always been horrible at phone conversations, which meant I hung up as soon as she was done with asking the homework, no chatting no nothing. To Zahira's utter dismay, I had always been horrible at phone conversations, which meant no chatting no nothing from my side. Zahira droned on and on and I said 'yes yes' periodically :p And so to my surprise, I could talk to Mehr on the phone with relative ease. Friendship grew purely on the rythm of voices. We did not see each other for nearly another year. After that her visits became somewhat regular (Dentists have a thankless job I say :p).

We have shared all the times that can be, joy and sorrow alike. But laughter was always the music :) Mehr, I have learned many things from you. No matter what others say or think, whether they expect too much or too low, I know that you are a wonderful person. You have been the first who I could really call a best friend. I know that I still don't confide, and that gets on your nerves sometimes, but that's the way I am and thank you for being so gracious about it. And sometimes the sarcasm gets too much, but what's life without humour :) I am not as visibly affectionate as you are, but thank you for understanding anyway. I am mean, I am cruel, I am rude, but thank you for still staying. I may not always have the solutions to all your problems, but I will always try :)

That was another of our characters, Mehr. But this is one of those stories that shall never end.

Mehr...Persian for "love", the same meaning as Neha.

Untill later, Cuidate!

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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Mehr - II

( -continued)

Oh, I remember, she was punished once!

Tughlaq (our character, another great and mad personality, more on her some other time) and Mehr were one day dancing. What's so great about it, you must be thinking. Well, you are right, except for the fact that they were dancing in the chemistry lab, with experiments on in full fledge!! There at the back were Mehr and Tughlaq, cheerfully singing along the tunes of Hare Raam Hare Krishna and happily twisting and turning their bodies about (for no apparent reason), untill............Mr. Ajay Sharma, our chemistry teacher (he was young and therefore popular) furiously marched over and ordered both the girls to get OUT.

Once ordered out, Tughlaq was scared out of her wits, while Mehr, our hero, was still singing Hare Raam Hare Krishna!!!! Later both of them even got into a small fight as Tughlaq blamed Mehr for their little misadventure, but Mehr, our hero, was still unfazed and was still singing Hare Raam Hare Krishna!!!!

Hilarious :) Though my only regret in life would be that it wasn't me who landed Mehr in any that sort of trouble :p

That reminds me, there was another signature Mehr move. Whenever jubilant, she would move her clenched fists in a horizontal circle in front of her, while at the same time rocking herself to and fro and chanting yay yay yay yay! ;)

I must state once again a great truth of my existence: I'm lazy XD So I never bothered carrying around a water bottle or an umbrella in the sweltering heat. Which Mehr dutifully did. And I considered it as my great duty to drive her nuts about it.

Before beginning on that, I must state a great truth of Mehr's existence: she is totally absent-minded XD So let's begin. Mehr's bottle was a product ahead of its time. I mean, every part was detachable (or broken). And given Mehr's attentiveness to her belongings, her bottle would always magically be found in a corner as far away from her as possible. And sometimes, I was the hand behind those magical-bottle-vanishing-acts. I still can't figure out why she would barge up to me and demand to know where the damned thing was...! Same story goes with her umbrella, the bloody thing kept disappearing only god (and me, sshhh...) knows where!

But can the story ever be complete without the art classes? Her white shirt was my canvas. And I, like a true artist, let the charcoal stubs run wild over it plummeted in the landscapes of my imagination... :) I don't know why but she would then behave like a crazy bull, charging after me in true Spanish bull fight imitation. Later I would send sorry-chits across the classroom to sober the animal in her down :p (Hey, I never meant those apologies, mind you!)

But we had our sane moments as well.

( -to be continued)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Mehr - I

When I was in the first grade, Nasik, there were these two friends of mine, Anupama and Rajni, among others. Anupama was the assertive, outgoing, gang-leader, opinionated kind of a child. Rajni, on the other hand, was very very cute, pretty, bubbly in a quiet way, adored by all, and in my language, a "girlish" girl :p These two would sometimes quarrel with each other, laying claims on me for a best friend. In the games period, I was always picked to play on Anupama's team, obviously, because Rajni did not have much say when it came to field politics. "She is my best friend". "No, she is my best friend, not yours". Thus bickered the two adorable little five-year-olds :p (Hey, and I'm not exaggerating or showing off :p I really was in demand :p)

But instead of being pleased, these tirades used to make me very uncomfortable. Never once did I grace either of the two girls by accepting their claims, for they were honestly not my "best friends". I have always essentially seen myself as a solitary person. Sure, I do love my friends, to laugh and have fun with them. But in the end, it was only me for myself, and that was my choice.

Its true, in all my growing up years, I had many friends, but never ever I saw anyone as a best friend. It was something I was haughty and proud about. About not feeling the need to have someone really close to confide into, or liking someone more than the rest.

That was all untill Mehr came along.

Mehr was a very vivacious person. She literally oozed life out of her! And then I could swear, I never saw anyone with a more cheerful disposition. She was always smiling, or laughing (loudly, very loudly :p). And of course, sticking to the stereotype, she was a chatterbox :p "Archi, you know what, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah". "Hey, yesterday this something something something something". "You won't believe it, I chapad chapad chapad chapad chapad". So, as you can tell, chattering was in her soul :p The only person who talked more than her was Zahira.

Amazingly, me the dumb even heard out her tales! Even today, I not only carefully listen to what she has to say, I even ask questions and wittily respond. Sigh, company rubs off I guess :p

When we used to sit together in class, it was a clear invitation for danger. For her. Because I used to pass on a stream of interesting comments, discreetly of course. And she used to bounce and laugh, very loudly of course. Time and again the teacher would turn around and find her face twisted in a grin, and beside her I sat with a straight poker face, pretending not to know Mehr at all. Thankfully, it used to end there. No reprimands.

Oh, I remember, she was punished once!

( -to be continued)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Sweetness Of Your Pain - III

( -continued)

What was even more stabbing was when she forced me to talk about "love", instead of just listening, and then fights would ensue.

Well, they were not big fights, but enough to irk me to the bones. Somehow, it was just impossible for Zahira to fathom that a person could be such a non-believer. "One day, when love happens to you, then we'll see", she would say. And I would smirk and smile, trusting my obstinacy. Love and impossibility, I thought.

Obviously, I was wrong :p

It happened in the most unimaginable way possible :) Unique in every sense, sweet and with its own dosage of humour. And as Corazon had said, fit to be sent to Maggi Unique Love Stories :p But simply because its mine, sorry, ours, it will always be the greatest and the sweetest and the best love story ever for me :')

I shall not indulge in the details of the story right now, what I want to say is how blissful its been :) Its amazing how you simply start coexisting, and feel like you have known him forever. That you can actually like everything about him, and say it too.That that one person can turn your world upside down, make you more grounded, make you fly, make you more adventurous, make you more timid! To say it in just one word, love is a contradiction... :)

If you have been in love too, you would know what its like. How joys and pleasures remain incomplete unless you share it with him. How you wait for the day to end so you can talk to him, even if just to say goodnight. How you constantly think of him, wondering, dreaming. How you just want him to be a part of everything that is yours.

And while he is away for a little while, however filmy it would have sounded earlier, you end up glimpsing him in your dreams everynight. Sitting alone on the terrace, with the cool winds blowing, you find yourself wishing for his presence, just simply his presence. Sometimes walking along the sideway, alone in the crowd, hoping he would come and silently hold your hand. And when it rains heavy, you stand at the window, nose pressed against the glass, heart filled with joy, but a tear or two manage to roll down (Caution: that will make you look like a pig :p). You wish he was there, clutching your shoulder, light but firm. Smiling mischievously, teasing you, full of life, well, you miss all that.

But there is a sweetness to revel in the the pain of separation as well. A sweetness no one but only he could give you. A sweetness with its own romance and melody attached to it. Its the sweetness of your pain, which you would not exchange for anything else... :) For there is only one person for whom you can wait all your life, and love forever :') XD

Untill later, Cuidate!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Mere Hamsafar

अरमानों का शहर गर टूटे इस कदर
छूट जायें सब उम्मीदें, मुस्किल हो जाए डगर
तुम रहना पास यूँ ही अपना जुनून लेकर
फिर मुकम्मल सारा जहाँ होगा, मेरे हमसफ़र

आँखों का साहिल जब मचलता ही जाए
बह जाए, छूट जाए, और काबू में न आए
तुम रहना पास यूँ ही अपना हौंसला लेकर
फिर खुशियों का समा होगा, मेरे हमसफ़र

आँधियाँ जब दिल का दस्तक खटखटायें
गिला-शिकवा, बेचैनियाँ, घर कर जाएँ
तुम रहना पास यूँ ही अपना सुकून लेकर
फिर मीठी नींद सा नशा होगा, मेरे हमसफ़र

अनकहे जज़्बातों को समझते रहना तुम मगर
आँखों के प्यार को पढ़ते रहना हर नज़र
तुम रहना पास यूँ ही अपनी मुहब्बत लेकर
फिर जन्नत भी फिदा होगा, मेरे हमसफ़र

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Sweetness Of Your Pain - II

( -continued)

And then, there were those conversations about "love" :p

As you might have figured out about me by now, I'm not one of those people who champion the ideas of love and sacrifice and other such movie legends :p I belong to the tribe of those cynics who will gladly shatter the happy world of a beaming child by grandly proclaiming that there is no Santa Claus, no tooth fairy, no angels, no fairies, no miracles, etc, etc XD I am always more than happy to burst people's ideas that they live in a bubble of everything good. Sigh, brings back the memory of the time when I used to bully my baby brother, and would tell him that even his Spiderman can't save him from me!! The poor kid would look so horror-stricken and I would laugh, true Ravan style :') ( oh and I mean the mythological character, not the Mani movie :p)

So, getting back to love, most of us have a rough idea of what girls are like. Huddled around in groups, heads sticking close, chattering excitedly in whispers, they can go on and on and on forever about, well, love :p And inevitably, true to the free period rituals, I was forced to be a part of these. Wahi waqt tha jab bhagwan par se bharosa uth gaya! PURE torture! These love sessions were even more horrible than those shopping discussions, exchanging tidbits on the latest trends, giving serious advice on which shampoo and conditioner to use, which beauty parlour lady was the nicest, which cream was best for pimples, so on and so forth. (And you thought being a girl was easy, huh?)

There was this friend of mine, let's call her Zahira, who would eat up my ears telling me about her dream guy, the things she would like him to do for her, hell, her plans for her wedding. She obsessively shared all the details like the catering, the decoration, even the tentative guest list, the shopping, bridal beauty procedures, honeymoon, house, get the idea. Believe it or not, she even drew out designs of the blouse she wanted, and painstakingly described the lehenga embroidery she desired.

What was even more stabbing was when she forced me to talk about "love", instead of just listening, and then fights would ensue.

( -to be continued)

Saturday, July 24, 2010

The Sweetness Of Your Pain - I

First thing first. It's a matter of great pride for me that I have always been the unrivalled winner of the highly esteemed titles of "Draculous Personality of the Millenium", "Duchess of Insensitivity", "Rudest amongst the Rude" . I have always been looked upon with great awe and respect, for I have been conferred, countless times, with the dignitaries of "The Empty Well of Sympathy", "The Forsaker of Humanity", "So-Practical-That-She-Is-Cruel", "Heartless o Mighty" et al. These appreciations and acknowledgments have always given me great courage. They have been my source of encouragement to further sharpen my skills to kill with deadly sarcasm, look down upon any good feelings and intentions in the world, be downright insulting to everybody, laugh in their faces, and fill my already-full-to-the-brim cup with even more attitude.

Dear friends, thank you for recognising me for what I really am, for identifying and boosting my true potential. I will always be grateful to all of you. You have shaped what I am today :')

Having achieved so much success in my field of specialization, needless to say, nostalgia hit me :) Old memories came rushing back, flooding worse than Tsunami.

I clearly remember, whenever I tricked someone into making me help them, the sadistic pleasure my heart would revel in everytime I disregerded their gratitudes, oh heavenly!! Carrying some of my friends to the physician's, my euphoria at watching thier ill faces was often mistaken for my concern. Hah, how foolish! Not giving my completed homeworks on time (only rarely, because I am lazier than all XD ) , smiling sometimes at the heartwarming things they said, whispering a few comforting words to them, listening patiently when they poured their hearts out, waiting with them since their bus was late, drawing their biology diagrams beneath the desk in class, settling differences between two bickering friends, trying to help in making the atmosphere humorous, and just simply being there ...they never understood that all these things were a part of a greater evil scheme! These humans with hearts, I tell can so easily make them blind to your inner delirious Satan, hahahaha!!!

And then, there were those conversations about "love" :p

( -to be continued)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Vivre - II

( -continued)


Delhi. The Red Beauty soon became a thorn in the shoe. By the time I reached my early teens, it was in pathetic condition. Ghanti chhod ke sab bajta tha! It was heavy, squeaky and we were incompatible. But, the MOST embarassing thing was, it used to make pathetic, squeaky, hair-raising, rodent-like noises EVERYTIME a cute guy passed me by...


And yet I never complained. For I was a pain to her as much as she was to me. The poor thing was scratched everywhere, thanks to my experiments and daredevilry :p She had to bear a lot of weight, thanks to my generosity I always found a friend who needed a lift :p And well, I did not exactly leave her gadgets in perfect working condition :p

So however moody and fidgety my little red Senorita might be, we were still friends, despite everything. (Though I'll never forgive her for thou-shalt-be-embarassed-in-front-of-cute-guys.) It was a classic example of symbiosis. Mutual consent to live together for the fulfillment of interests of the selves.

Well, the thing is, I realized that Life is pretty much like the red senorita! She will hit you, and you will hit her back. You will hit her, and she will hit you back. Life will not always be hunky-dory, she will be harsh, heavy, and ahh, will land you in embarassing situations as well ;) But most times, she will try to make things comfortable for you. She will carry your weight, take you where you want to go, and bear it when you are being a brat.

Ultimately, its a matter of choice. We can either crib, cry, complain and sulk with our Life. Or we can try and be friends with her :) Just like the best friends who'll pull our leg whenever possible, but will stand by us whenever we need them.

I chose to be friends with my Life, just like I was with my red bull :) I am game for everything she has in strore, ready for all the times when she will rough me up, hungry for everything that she has to teach, and eager for the rewards she has to offer. After all, the journey can't be made without her ;)

So friends, that was our first character...Life.

Vivre...French for "Life".

Untill next time, Cuidate!
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You Found Me: the song..Corazon, this is for you XD

Monday, July 19, 2010

Vivre - I

My best days were spent in Nasik. More on that later. What's more important is, I was the champion toddler of the tricycle races (so much for modesty!). I was good competition even to five year olds.

Bangalore. I got my first proper bicycle when I was six. Its another matter that I did not master it untill two years later. But when I finally did, we understood each other perfectly. She understood my command at my slightest movement, I understood how to explore what she had to offer. Well, we were GREAT companions! She was the mistress of my afternoons, my evenings, and when the treachorous school was off, even my mornings. (Nights were utilised for sleeping. No other option with Mom wailing "Sleeeppp!!! Oh thee, the violator-of-my-peace! Sleeepp!!")

She made me capable of flying, strong rushes of wind in my hair was something that became perennial. She made me feel like a teenager already, independent and mobile. We spent two blissful years together. My magenta bicycle, I love you and I miss you! :')

When I turned ten, my father gifted me a new bike. A big, strong, red bull. Great looks, great features. My brand new Hero Siren. Indicators, headlights, speedometer, heck, even a number plate! (That was just a plastic sticker though, but enough to boost my vanity). It was not suited for my petite frame, more of a mountain bike, but I handled it well. It was my choice and I was proud of it. I was the envy of every other kid.


( -to be continued)

Saturday, July 17, 2010


Mulaqat...Urdu for "meeting".

Greetings to all, pehli mulaqat ki mubarak! This is our first outing together, and I hope we begin to like each other along the journey..

Life is beautiful, and very interesting! The everyday 24 hours are filled with joys, pleasures, whinings, disappointments, dullness, laughter, illusions, tears, anger, hopes...and everything imaginable. The25thHour is my sancta sanctorum to appreciate the gift of those twenty four hours.

This space is the stage for many characters, who will be the tools to share myself with you. They are real people who have become a part of my life, and , thus, inevitably a part of me. Their lives so perfectly intwined with mine that I possibly cannot see them as separate entities. Every life is a saga, the lives of others being the stories in the epic :)

And this to my friends, identify the characters as soon as you can ;)

Untill next post till I introduce the first of them all!

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