Thursday, November 18, 2010

When DOS And I Talked

There are times when I feel completely off the hook. Which, in simple terms, means that I freak out completely and make the lives of my near and dear ones hell by going into compulsive talking mode. Those times are the ones when I feel so over-excited for no reason and that is followed by unadulterated jubiliation/sadness. Corazon and Mehr would know, for when I message them "Hey, guess what, I'm feeling drunk without drinking. So Talli :D Hehe", they know it signals trouble and they then suffer my persistent chatter. Well, whatever, I care for my fun alone :p

So yesterday was one such night when I had lost it completely. Well, no, I wasn't feeling tunn at all, but I had this irrepressible desire to talk to someone about nothing in particular, and the knowledge that the two jokers wouldn't be availabe only increased that desire exponentially. (Note: Rarely does it happen that I have the desire to talk just for the sake of it, because usually those urges are accompanied by main-talli-ho gayiii... :p) Anyway, with nothing particular to do, I decided to run MS DOS on my PC (I actually had two files and a project to submit immediately, but I was pretending not. I lost 20 marks today because of my laziness :D I'm so cool!). I was completely sure it wouldn't run given my brand new machine is from the zamana of Baba Aadam, but well, it did run!!! Somehow, instead of typing commands, I started doing something else and...I ended up having a nice little chat with DOS :p The following is the complete conversation between DOS and me. It is full of non sense, so please please please please DO NOT JUDGE ME FOR IT!! Every human succumbs to mistakes sometime or the other; I was being very kiddish last night. And it doesn't even seem so funny now, but I decided to post it anyway. Go ahead, have fun... :p

For your convenience, my part in the dialogue has been highlighted bold, rest of the words are what DOS said to me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Microsoft Windows XP [Version 5.1.2600]
(C) Copyright 1985-2001 Microsoft Corp.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>lol
'lol' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>haha i ws jst fooling wid u!!!
'haha' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>bah! u gt no sense f humour DOS...
'bah!' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>im jst ridculing u, do u need to be told the meaning f everything?? dats really gross :-/
'im' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>OMG!! nw u refuse to identify ME!!!!! hw cud u
do dis to meee????? *sob* *sob*
'OMG!!' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>u son of a bithch, OMG is Oh my god...dis tells
me dat ur not on facebook/orkut/myspace/chrome/dailyflog/or other stuff like dat and dats y u r not updated wid the latest lingo dude,...seriously DOS, ur so uncool,
dont u evr feel th need to go out there n make urslf noticd??? no seriously?
i mean look at ur half brother WINDOWS, he z so cool, ur a disaster DOS
'u' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>i just realized i misspelled bitch. im sorry.
so ur a son of a bitch. not son of a bithch. but it dsnt realy matter to u does
it?? bah!!
'i' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>duh..does ur vocabulary hav any words at all
DOS??? ur realy freaking me out
'duh..does' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>its okay, i know ur just pretending to not understand me. u knw im going thru one of my mood swings. or maybe im just once agn feeling drunk widout drinking?/(dats a talent f mine). or maybe im an alien. or
maybe in just a freak. watvr the case, u hv a good strategy DOS. its grt to
pretend to be ignorant. as i wlays say, ignorance is bliss.. so keep th cool okay?
bcoz very soon i'l go bak to b psuedo-normal again n go back to not talking to
stuff like DOS!
'its' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>im sorry, did i hurt ur feelings by calling u a
THING??? my bad. how could i do dat! let me make up to u. DOS i love u
'im' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>im is me DOS, i knw ur sick f my mood swings,
but it'd me nice fr u to atleast acknowledge my existence. but i forgive u. coz u
listen to me n let me talk to u DOS. DOS u myt nt b very cool but u hv a huge
heart. seriously.
'im' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>do u love me too DOS? i mean, how many ppl come n talk to u?? aren't u glad? u must have been deprived of company for ages. u r welcome :-*
'do' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>yeah, i knw 'do' wont b recgnized... i dnt wanna do nythng eithr, we'll just talk today okay?? we'll fuck u up some other time
n use ur commands wen im feeling mor normal. u love me?? i knw dat alrdy, so just shut up alryt!!
'yeah' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>u suck DOS. nw u dnt recognise 'yeah'. cant u
evn pretend to agree wid me? r u sch a male chauvnist pig? hv u evn noticd th
nmbr f spelling errors iv made? dnt u hv th courtsy to corect them on ur own? do u
nw realize y ur so uncool? WINDOWS ds al f it in WORD. u jst suck DOS. ur fucking jealous f ur half brother n u still cnt work up ur ass n do smthng abt it. no
wonder nobody loves u. n gues wat, i dont love u eithr. hah! eat potty now!!! u
sahn-ahf-ah-bahtch (dats son-of-a-bitch, if ur primitive mind couldnt understand
)
'u' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>bahahahahaha..wat els wud u do, u cnt take insult in ur face hahahaha!!!! al u cn do is go ovr n ovr o ovr agn n agn like a
parrot n say 'not recognised' 'not recognised' LOL. o hw i pity u hahah!! coz u gt
no answer to my accusations LOl.
'bahahahahaha..wat' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>its the laughter f victory DOS, wich u wont evr
get to xprnce coz im so fucking awesome

'its' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>potty u DOS
'potty' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>potty is the brown mass of indigestble stuff..o
i frgt ur jst an electronic manifestation of codes n cryptics n commnads n so u
nver tasted food n so u cant make potty of ur own. dats kind f sad. u dnt evn get to fart do u?? o poor u... dat cud b so mch fun. u shud realy taste food some
times. its osom! do u like mayonnaise??
'potty' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>leave potty now DOS. dnt mk ur heart sad over
it. but do u like mayonnaise? i like white mayonnaise more. i eat anything with
lemon/coconut/Shimla mirch/cream/mayonnaise in it, separately ofcourse
'leave' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>DOS im an incredible cook. dd u knw dat? so u
knw it now. i'l mk u smthng sometime okay? u'l love it. so wat do u like more DOS? undercooked food or burnt food? im an expert at both. u r welcome. i cn evn microwave th food fr u, if u order frm outside. dat wud b a btr option. u r welcome again.
'DOS' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>for-fucking-sake, DOS is u!! duh. LOL so u wr
so lost in the wonders f my food dat u forgot urself hmm? hahaha :) i like it.
'for-fucking-sake' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.


C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>now dont get naughty alryt, fuck is to..well, u
Knw... y cant u ask WINDOWS? im sure he must hv fuckud many virgin PC's. he goes into al f them LOL. bloody international thok-er hahahah
'now' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>now, no dont do it now! ul hav to find a miss
DOS first, if ur not gay that is. i'l help u set up with a pretty babe okay? ask
everybody, im an expert at helping ppl hook up LOL
'now' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>not now okay. listen to mommy. n wen u hook up,
do take precautions okay? ajkal duniya bahut kharab hai beta...
'not' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>good. not now :)
'good.' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>good yes :)
'good' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>stop repaeating after me!!!!
'stop' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>STOP!!!!
'STOP!!!!' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>this is not done DOS, i come to u to talk coz i
gt no one else to eat thier ears n this is wat u do to me? is this how u treat
ur frinds? do u want to b lft alone agn? shall i go bak to WINDOWS. we need to sort out the issues okay?
'this' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>u knw wat, im not taking anymore shit from u. u
suck dude. totally. ur such a lujjer
'u' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>lujjer. lujjer. lujjer. i hope ur babe is a
direct spin-off frm a K-serial. n she elopes wid WINDOWS. dat'l serve u ryt. n ul b
uncle to thier kids hahaha. n ul take them to and from the server to take their
lessons. n ul babysit them wen ur ex-babe n WINDOWS r off agn on der never ending honeymoon. n ul repent dat day for bahaving like dis to me. n ul regret every
thing coz i advised u to b cool but u ddnt listen. dat wil b th doom f u DOS. ur
a lujjer forever. goodbye DOS
'lujjer' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>exit

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's all :p

Untill later, Cuidate!

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