Sunday, December 30, 2012

The Coward That I Am


My nation has already expressed all the horror, anger, shock, measures, punishments, grief, and finally, condolences. Though much has already been said and written, and knowing that I have nothing that hasn't been uttered before, yet I have come to learn something new about myself.

That I am as much a coward as she was brave.

I am a coward because though the Brave heart fought a fierce battle for her life, without a single sign of mental breakdown or stigma associated with the crime, I, on the other hand, followed her story and read every single article while crying copiously.

With the shock that the girl who got cremated could easily have been me, I had thought of writing open letters to the President, the Chief Minister, the Chief Justice, or whoever would listen to express my horror and indignation, and demand that they restore my sense of peace and security. But the coward that I am, I convinced myself that my voice shall not be heard. The coward that I am, I only kept telling myself that I will join the protests once my exams end, but now I know that I don’t have the courage, and shamefully, that I am lazy to get out of the house, to give voice to the girl who had to die to awaken me.

And while she heroically asked that the innumerable tubes running in and out of her body be detached for a while, so that she could give her official statement to the police, twice, the coward that I am, I dream of evil silhouettes brandishing rusty rods at me, and I wake up in a sweat.

I will not ask the men in my life what they have done to ensure my safety. I will not ask the government that who is responsible for my dignity. Because I don’t have the right, for what did I do for myself when a man once groped my behind in a crowded compartment and grinned at me, and I could do nothing more than abuse his back once he had passed me? I am a coward, because only cowards like me sometimes fervently pray that they meet the same man, so that this time, instead of writhing in a helpless angry impotence, they can thrash the bastard. Each time the memory sends shivers of rage down my spine and my inaction makes me feel ashamed to look at myself in the mirror.

I have been following the newspapers very closely, and they say that the rapists lodged in Tihar have hardly expressed any repentance. That the juvenile will get away with nothing more than raps on his knuckles. That the juvenile was caught with the burnt mobile of the brave heart, and pieces of cloth torn from her body. I had read somewhere that such monsters collected “souvenirs” from their exploits, which turns them on at a later time. The coward that I am, I fear of what will happen once that juvenile is out on the streets again. Which will see the light of another day, his lust or my life?

And even though the coward that I am, I want to use the same rod on each one of the rapist bastards.

Real men don’t rape.

And real women fight back.

I, for once, know that I don’t seem to be one, and I am ashamed. Of myself.


Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Agony

The prince rushed to the gloomy princess and said
"They say night after night you cry yourself to bed!
Is it true, my love? Oh, tell me what pains you so?
Please speak, beloved! I can't bear your sorrow!"
The prince implored as her eyes moistened again
And down fell the tear like the first drop of rain
Yet her silence persisted, and the prince urged
"The thorns of your heart must be purged!
I shall bring you anything that your heart wants
Exotic delicacies or maybe some country jaunts
The richest silks and the most precious of gems
The prettiest mare and little ribbons adorning your hems
I shall fill your garden with a thousand singing canaries
And you shall wake up to fragrant flowery canopies
Anything, anything at all to see you smile", he begged.
"Some of your time would be nice", she finally said


Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Epitaph

Neither flesh nor bones
I am just made up of hopes
In you, I still live.

Neither lymph nor blood
I am but just of love a flood
In you, I still live.

It was the end of my body
My life is not yet done
because in you, I still live.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

SAE BAJA 2012

Presenting a photographic journey of my BAJA 2012 adventure in brief (a proper post to follow on later!)

SAE BAJA, an all India competition with over 200 engineering colleges designing and fabricating
an ALL TERRAIN VEHICLE, fighting it out in the dusts of Pithampur, near Indore (M.P).

And introducing the all girls team of mechanical enginners (IInd and IIIrd year), Team IGIT YANTRIKI, with their car ANDROMEDA, the winners of the prestigious CHAIRMAN'S AWARD!! ^_^

Here's to the BAJA girls (yes, me included :p) of Indira Gandhi Institute of Technology, Delhi!

Team no: 37; ANDROMEDA in all its majesty


ANDROMEDA, roaring ahead! Kudos to Team Captain and Driver: Anupama Madiyan, who brought ANDROMEDA from 63rd to 28th position in just 7 laps during the Endurance Run!


Testing ANDROMEDA on bricks and stairs and stones and what not!


IGIT YANTRIKI at AUTO EXPO 2012, Delhi :D


And here's the special one! CM Sheila Dikshit visiting IGIT to inaugarate ANDROMEDA!! How cool is that!

...and the CM's best wishes, securely bolted to our car later ;)


The team on the day of the CM's visit


Loading the car to Indore for the final battle!


At the site. Oh by the way, Polaris, IOCL and Jindal Steels sponsored us ;) High class, huh? ;)



Pushing the car to the pit, driving not allowed on walking tracks


Neat and clean, during the first two days of the event...


...caked with dust, on the third day, the day of the Endurance Run!


Roaring Girls, after winning the Chairman's Award!!! :D :D

And who said girls couldn't do it?? :D
They do it better, and come out WINNERS :D


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Retail Therapy-The Online Way



Until later, Cuidate!

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The More I Imagine The More I Know

I imagine touching the fabric of the universe
And I appreciate more the soil below my feet
I imagine hearing nature's mystic verse
And then I know the miracle of my own heart's beat
I imagine the vivid colours of a rainbow
And then I applaud a painter's show
I imagine my palms to be the source of snow
And then I know winter's stunning icy glow

I imagine myself in a good life ahead
With a lot of cash, a cottage, and a car
But then I know it won't come easy
And I prepare to work hard to go that far
I imagine being with the love of my life
And keeping all my friends very close
But when I wander alone most of the time
Then I know I've neglected more than I chose

When I imagine wrong being done to me
The more I know what compassion means
And then I imagine being in the shoes of others
Thus I understand how deeply they feel
And Einstein had once rightly said so
"Knowledge yes, but imagination is definitely the way to go"
And I agree, I don't know much physics though,
That the more I imagine, the more I know

Until later, Cuidate!

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Its A Virtual World!

First they said the world was flat.
Then they said the world was round.
Then they said it was a small world to be in.
And now I say, it's small enough to fit in a screen!

The following is a chat conversation between me and my bestestest friend forever, Mehr. She loves me dearly. Even from another country, she never fails to enquire after my well-being, albeit after solving the mystery about toilets... :p

I have taken the liberty to publish this conversation without her permission since she has exams from Monday, and was, thus, unavailable online. All the best, Mehr! 3:)

neha: :D
11:42 AM why are toilet flush handles on the left sidE?
me: umm
socha nhi kabhi
neha: kitni sochne waali baat hai naa
har jagah
left side par hi flush hota hai!!
me: dekh reasn ye ho sakta hai ki
11:43 AM jb hum flush karne k liye mudte hai
toh wo hamare liye right bann jata hai
n 90% ppl r ryt handed
neha: hmm...
nice answer!!
:P
11:44 AM yaar
lekin agar uth kar flush karen toh left hua naa
:P
me: right hua
11:45 AM neha: haaaaan!!
:P
thnks!
main yeh subah se soch rhi thi
:P
11:46 AM ohh..btw
kaise hai?
:P
howz everything?


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Google The Spy

Does Google see every damned thing you do? YES!!! :-/


Patent Wars

A joke I cracked
and laughed the entire gang
and then I commented, nonchalantly
"Just made that up, good na really?"
Then walked up my pal from behind
and smacked my twin-hind
"Hey!", I screamed
"You...", she seethed
and said:
"That punchline was mine
You stole it, you swine!"
Thus caught, ashamed and insulted
I watched TV at night
and realized to my surprise
it was neither hers, nor mine
the joke was actually Simpson's line!

Your grab, nor mine, hah! Take that!
Homer won the patent war, you cunning cat!



Until later, Cuidate!

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Saturday, March 17, 2012

Dua Aur Baddua

Delhi...a magical city of quick fixes
A sweet cocktail of acidic mixes
Wide roads and patli galiyan
Studs and hunks and sexy phuljhadiyan
Skyscrapers beside rotten slums
Bhains ka doodh and beers and rums
Splashing away in boutiques and malls
Then bargaining at Janpath for tops and shawls
Sweet to your face, oh so polite
Turn your back, and we are deadlier than dynamite

In this city of riches and power, honey
Everyone can turn gobar into money
And once when I was asked, "Oh Miss!
Which is the best business to put in bucks?"
Without batting my eyelids and without a miss
I promptly opened my lips and replied thus:
Bhikhari ki dukaan is of course the best!
The most innovative, and a cut above the rest
A business of dua and baddua is all it takes,
with zero investment, to dig profit's lakes
And its cheap on the pockets of the customers too
Let me give you an example very true:

For the first ten bucks, Maai, tujhe sunder pati mile
For the second ten bucks, Bibiji, teri jodi bani rahe
For the third ten bucks and clutching your feet
Teri godh mein ho chand sa lalla, saasu gaye tere geet
And when you fail to pay up, they kick your shins
And curse your thirty-bucks-relationship to the bins!
But of course it helps, if you are seeking a divorce
Because for another ten bucks, you are freed of your remorse
And thus the lakhs of rupees spent from wedding to divorce
Are handled by the humble beggar in forty bucks, senor :)

Until later, Cuidate!

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Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Scarlet Marriage

A poem I wrote for a school competition when I was fifteen. (entry rejected :p)

Nested in the blazing sands and dusts of the Thar
Together lived men of all religions and castes
There was a village mosque, and a village temple
Where prayers were offered everyday in ample
They passed each other, and passed a smile
"O! How happy we are!", together they cried
For happy they indeed were, day and night
They shared everything, but never a fight
Those men were 'liberal, noble and good'
God would have blessed them, if he could!

But, alas, in that village lived a couple
Whose love had landed them into trouble
The girl was Allah's own daughter
And the boy was a Hindu follower
But this small difference angered the temple priest
And the outraged mullah condemned the boy's creed
The two 'noble' heads declared a war
And out were drawn lathis, guns and swords
The blood thirsty crowd ran with weapons in hand
The swords rattled away and the guns banged

By the end of the day there was blood everywhere
No mercy shown and no body left to spare
On that bloody evening, sitting on the bloody ground
Was a terrified mother with painful cuts all around
She sat beside her dead children and cried:
"Such a cruel crime in broad daylight!
Bodies were slashed, blood shed, and stones were hurled
They killed the men and violated poor girls
God! You gave them everything, pride and money
But not even an ounce of peace and harmony!"


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All My Love

What was it that you had wanted from me
I’m sorry if I couldn’t give it to thee
I tried my level best
To give you all that’s left
All my love, all my care
Take it, before I’m not there…

Until later, Cuidate!


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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Monkey And Me - II

Jannat :) But...there was a shady character in that delightful place. I was being stalked, let's refer to him as monkey.

Since the moment I first stepped into the campus, I could feel an evil eye following me everywhere, anticipating my every move, analysing my every situation. I felt strangled…and on the verge of a breakdown. Terror followed me everywhere I went, like a serpent waiting to strike. Every breath was a risk, every step a danger. Those were some of the worst moments ever lived.

And the vicious stalker was none other than, well, a monkey…


The citizens of my shiksha ka mandir (accompanied with the gesture of a sweep of my hand in a semicircle above my head) are forever in fear of the killer monkeys. They roam around majestically, stealing when they wish, striking and pouncing any pretty babe they desire. They have a birthright on every edible item, how dare you even think of eating it! If any object that you’re carrying catches their fancy, then of course they have a divine right over it. Either you hand over the disputed item with all due respect, or it will be snatched away, obviously. Even the creators of the “green” campus cower to the ground in their presence. All that’s left is for them to collect hafta from us now…

However, my fear reached unprecedented heights when the monkeys made me the target of their most atrocious expedition. Given how big-hearted, spendthrift, gullible, innocent, kind and sweet I am, I had bullied a senior into giving me ten bucks, with which I bought a choco-bar :D I was enjoying my well-earned treat in the sun, perched on the college wall, in the delightful company of my friends when my intuition warned me of danger! Out of the corner of my eye I could watch a huge mass of muscular brown fur leaping and running and jumping and lurching all the way towards me! In a blur of moments the monster was right before my eyes!! Yes sir, right before my very eyes, believe it or not, and baring his fangs that were covered in green phlegm!!! :O My very heart leaped out of my throat and jumped into my bag to seek cover, bloody bastard.

The indestructible incarnation of Lord Hanuman then stretched out his paws, and I sadly realized what I would have to give up L But I am no coward! Very bravely, I simply abandoned my ice cream and ran…

How I am alive to tell the tale still astonishes me…but my heart (bloody bastard) still cries when I think of that choco-bar bought with bullied-money.


Until later, Cuidate!


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Sunday, March 11, 2012

Sinful Wishing

Perched on the parapet, leaning against the wall
She sat so oblivious, letting the great drops fall.
The rain shimmered thick…a curtain of pearls
The wisps of her agonized soul seething in swirls.
The random gusts of wind piercing her through
Drifting her to the inner vaults where memories brew.
And so she sat strolling down the memory lane
Sinful wishes rising again, peace beginning to wane.
It was a journey of as much joy as of longing
His absence hurt, for him she felt herself pining.
Wishing she could, once again, really see him smile
Wishing for him to tease her again, laughing all the while.
Silently observing the world, she wished him by her side
His sturdy hand on her shoulder, mouth grinning wide.
Alone in the crowd, somehow hoping he’d land
Right there, right then, and hold her hand.
She wished she could just make him sit
And wordlessly admire, as long as time bid.
“Come back, please, oh please come back”.
Praying thus mutely, but afraid to say it aloud
Knowing that he trusted her to wait, as he cleared the cloud.
And she felt so sinful, knowing she was being selfish
How could she ask him for something that he couldn’t furnish.
It surprised her greatly, how two tiny words “come back”
Made her flinch, perhaps of her own will a lack.
So torn by the two words, again letting the great drops fall
Wishing she could say, and knowing she should not.

Until later, Cuidate!

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Thursday, March 8, 2012

Baby's Day Out

Mamta...ek gehra sukhi ahsaas! Phoolon sa komal, kaliyon sa nazuk...jisme chupa hai nari ke astitva ka raaz! Mere rajdulaare par koi aanch na aane paye! Taaron si roshan uski nanhi aankhein, resham si komal twacha, sangeet se madhur uski hasi...maa banne ka ye anokha abhaas!

Oh please, cut the crap!


The fact that so many women earn to conceive, carry, give birth and coo over a baby, according to me, is a sham of exponential proportions! And no, I'm not rambling, I have a well based theory. This shishu moh maya is nothing but a conspiracy of:

1) corporate moguls: who want to make big bucks out of baby care products/ crèches/ schooling/ college/ baby clothing/ baby albums/ baby stationery/ baby bags and suitcases/ baby shoes and footwear/ baby accessories/ baby sport equipments/ baby gadgets/ baby apps/ baby make-up/ baby jewellery/ mamy poco pants ^_^ (I love the tune), etc, etc.

2) ancient aunties: who have figures now struck by gravity and obesity, whose teenage kid is an animal already and who can't bear that you lead a curse-free life and thus lure you with the joys of motherhood, when they are actually plotting against you. Dear innocent young woman, if you would only perk up your ears a bit, you could hear their malevolent laughter inside their brains. “Wuhahahaha” is how it goes L

3) miscellaneous: husbands, peer group, tumhare apne maa-baap, in-laws, out-laws, over-laws, under-laws, on-laws, at-laws, for-laws, to-laws, by-laws and all other prepositions of the English language are shareholders of this conspiracy.

To increase your knowledge, here is a list of a number of disadvantages of having kids:

1) They are a costly investment.

2) They do not guarantee returns.

3) They outgrow clothes very quickly.

4) They embarrass you while still being cute.

5) They never like what you cook.

6) At the age of eight, they think the neighbour is prettier than you.

7) Most importantly, at the age of five, they think the neighbour’s daughter ought to be their girlfriend.

As is obvious, my criticism has rock solid foundation. And trust me, I would have kept my cynicism to myself had God not been so obstinate…

Let me give you an example.

One day in the metro, I happened to grab a seat next to an extremely adorable baby girl, who was hardly an year old. This is the exchange that took place.

Baby: buaabhuah hab ubu

Me: (blank expression)

Baby: (while pouncing me with her rather sharp nails) aabibu ooueee kasha mimimi

Me: (startled; require assistance)

Baby: (proceeds to tear the book that I had and laughs the charming baby laughter) ahaaa

ghaaaa aha aha aghaa haha

Me: (now shaken and alarmed, keep book inside bag)

Baby: (the war cry of victory) aaarhhhghhh!

All the women eyed the object of affection with undying love, as if she had performed a miracle by tearing my book apart. To add insult to injury, one woman grew disgusted at me for not showing suitable adoration! What can I say…nobody cares for victims such as me L

As luck would have it, the same baby and her mom also de-boarded at the same station as me. And since she had a very heavy bag, she thrusted over the baby in my arms until her husband came into view.

Well, she thanked me and left and all of that, but I was left wondering, why does God do this to me again and again? It is like Lewis Carroll's famous riddle from Alice in Wonderland that was meant to have no answer at all..."why does a raven look like a writing desk?"...

Why indeed!

Until later, Cuidate!

Mehr calls me Shin Chan, and therefore this is my kid (according to her)!

PS:-
@ my future kid: This is all lies! I don't hate kids! I've been trapped! It's a conspiracy! Blogomania made me do it for cash! Mommy loves you <3

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Thursday, March 1, 2012

How To Make A Business Plan

The newly-hatched-ones of India, inspired and perspired in their quest to stand on their own webbed feet, are often attracted by the idea of self-employment. But, but, but! Fundamentals are the building blocks of fun. Today I, Rupaiya the Rooster, am here to teach the newly-hatched-ones how to make a business plan.

RECOGNISE OPPORTUNITY

It is vital to keep your chicken eyes open to any opportunity that helps you to earn a quick buck. Chori, dakaiti, loot, chhal-kapat, conning are some of the rampant examples. Religious festivals are also popular amongst emerging entrepreneurs. Karva Chauth is the perfect amalgamation of religious, romantic and family markets.

CREATE DEMAND

You cannot sell your product or services until there is any demand for it. And dear chickens, Rupaiya the Rooster says that "if there is no want, thou ought to create it!" For instance, your mom has to have henna patterns drawn on her hands for the ceremony of Karva Chauth. An intelligent chicken creates demand by having her stuck in the kitchen and not giving her the time to go to the market and get it done. And hey presto! Now your mom is begging you to rachao mehendi in her pretty hands ;)

RESOURCE MANAGEMENT

The identification, procurement and management of resources is the next big step in any business set-up. Continuing with our case study: the resource here is henna, and it looks like gobar to you. There are two options: 1) gobar 2) henna. Arranging gobar will include transportation and cleaning costs. Second option may be procured by your own money, or your mom's money. If mom has the mehendi cone, the choice is made infinitely easy, dear chickens!

HINT PRICE

Finance is the soul of any business (Duh..!). Now the important step here is to hint the prices and not establish the prices. Consider this: You: "Maa, main toh 100 Rs lungi"
Mom: "Thappad marungi".
Do NOT take the discussion any further. Laugh lightly and drop the matter.

ARRANGE SUPPLY

Agreed that you were a champion of making your claw-prints in nursery with water colours, but that won't help you when it comes to making money in a mehendi business. Chick, you need a pic! Google an easy enough design and you're all set to draw an amazing design on your pretty mom's pretty hands!!

EXTRACT PAYMENT

Googling does not mean you will be able to replicate the design with its exact intricacies. Obviously, in reality v/s expectations, reality wins, ALWAYS. But worry not! That's none of your concern :D The trick is to deposit the henna bullshit on one hand and then to establish that the payment of your services is 100 Rs. After covering the other hand with the henna-shit, you establish that the payment of your services is Rs 100 for each hand. Then you proceed to extract that amount from mom's purse while she sits there helpless covered in ugly henna patterns (drawn by you, of course).



my mom's hand, with my design

RESULT

Now you are rich! These were the basics of EconoMess, oops, Economy. Rupaiya the Rooster shall come back, dear chickens!, with more tricks on earning a quick buck, same blog, same URL!

Until later, Cuidate!

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