Thursday, March 1, 2012

How To Make A Business Plan

The newly-hatched-ones of India, inspired and perspired in their quest to stand on their own webbed feet, are often attracted by the idea of self-employment. But, but, but! Fundamentals are the building blocks of fun. Today I, Rupaiya the Rooster, am here to teach the newly-hatched-ones how to make a business plan.

RECOGNISE OPPORTUNITY

It is vital to keep your chicken eyes open to any opportunity that helps you to earn a quick buck. Chori, dakaiti, loot, chhal-kapat, conning are some of the rampant examples. Religious festivals are also popular amongst emerging entrepreneurs. Karva Chauth is the perfect amalgamation of religious, romantic and family markets.

CREATE DEMAND

You cannot sell your product or services until there is any demand for it. And dear chickens, Rupaiya the Rooster says that "if there is no want, thou ought to create it!" For instance, your mom has to have henna patterns drawn on her hands for the ceremony of Karva Chauth. An intelligent chicken creates demand by having her stuck in the kitchen and not giving her the time to go to the market and get it done. And hey presto! Now your mom is begging you to rachao mehendi in her pretty hands ;)

RESOURCE MANAGEMENT

The identification, procurement and management of resources is the next big step in any business set-up. Continuing with our case study: the resource here is henna, and it looks like gobar to you. There are two options: 1) gobar 2) henna. Arranging gobar will include transportation and cleaning costs. Second option may be procured by your own money, or your mom's money. If mom has the mehendi cone, the choice is made infinitely easy, dear chickens!

HINT PRICE

Finance is the soul of any business (Duh..!). Now the important step here is to hint the prices and not establish the prices. Consider this: You: "Maa, main toh 100 Rs lungi"
Mom: "Thappad marungi".
Do NOT take the discussion any further. Laugh lightly and drop the matter.

ARRANGE SUPPLY

Agreed that you were a champion of making your claw-prints in nursery with water colours, but that won't help you when it comes to making money in a mehendi business. Chick, you need a pic! Google an easy enough design and you're all set to draw an amazing design on your pretty mom's pretty hands!!

EXTRACT PAYMENT

Googling does not mean you will be able to replicate the design with its exact intricacies. Obviously, in reality v/s expectations, reality wins, ALWAYS. But worry not! That's none of your concern :D The trick is to deposit the henna bullshit on one hand and then to establish that the payment of your services is 100 Rs. After covering the other hand with the henna-shit, you establish that the payment of your services is Rs 100 for each hand. Then you proceed to extract that amount from mom's purse while she sits there helpless covered in ugly henna patterns (drawn by you, of course).



my mom's hand, with my design

RESULT

Now you are rich! These were the basics of EconoMess, oops, Economy. Rupaiya the Rooster shall come back, dear chickens!, with more tricks on earning a quick buck, same blog, same URL!

Until later, Cuidate!

Vote for me now!

4 comments:

  1. After this post...you are definitely gng to get calls from IIM for the post of HOD Finance management! :P

    Btw, poor aunty :P though the mehendi was not at all bad!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. thank u thank u XD akhir artisht log hain hum XD

    ReplyDelete
  3. Atti sundaram mehendi; atti Smart binness tactics :D

    ReplyDelete

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