Sometimes...

Sometimes you're lost in times gone by
You're standing right there as the world passes by
You want to race back to what once was
Time never waits; you're still fighting for a pause
The moment was too sweet but it cannot be relived
Precious times wait ahead, bygones cannot be retrieved
Sometimes someone's memories keep me submerged
When all the wonders of the world are just not enough

Sometimes you've lost all feelings and sensation
When you no longer are, but just a spectator
When experiences merely happen, and not lived through
And what you really see is not percieved to be true
For you are there elsewhere, in a world of your own
With the ones who are missing; the ones present, a lore
Sometime's someone's one whisper has the power to summon
When all the vivacity of the world is just not enough

Sometimes somewhere you're struck by what you see
Lovers sometimes, or huge groups of old friends filled with glee
You are surprised and disgusted by the emotion rising in you
Jealousy abound, you wish that that could be you
Jealousy becomes hatred, those people you scorn
You are shocked by the change, happy past is now a thorn
Sometimes that yearning sends tremors to the core
And you feel that nothing else could have hurt more

Sometimes you're so happy, the bounty of joy
The King of the world, fate your toy
Everything seems perfect and you're at bliss
And no happiness ever could give you a miss
You're content, not wanting, not wishing
But not peaceful, you realize something's missing
Sometimes someone's one little smile makes up
When the entire world's laughter is not enough

Sometimes...entire hours of being together simply don't do
And sometimes, just a little promise of the future pulls me through

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Maestro Me

Let me begin with a description of my musical abilities. I am exquisite! My vocals can be used as an alarm clock to wake up the deepest of sleepers. There is no difference between my high pitch and my low pitch notes, since I don't like to differentiate and make the other scales of notes feel bad. My appreciation of live band performances goes as far as acknowleding, "Aha! It is some tune after all!" I can skip concerts and not feel guilty (my very own bathroom concerts are so amazing, you see :p). The only person I can sing in chorus with is my dad, we are so amazing that others think we are horrible; people are so constrained in their praise, I tell you :p They can't even appreciate the new lyrics we fill the old Hindi songs with to go with the situation... :( I have never touched a single instrument in my life, simply because my inbuilt, god-gifted musical ability is complete in itself. I am so great that I don't care to remember songs by their titles, giving them names of my own...and still expecting people to understand. For instance, when Corazon once asked me if I had heard 'You Belong With Me' by Taylor Swift, I shook my head even though I had heard it. Crazy? Maybe...that song went by the name 'Sneakers' in my head, how was I expected to recognise?? :p

So moving on, a friend of mine, let's call her Friend, needed to buy herself a guitar. Friend was running on a deadline and she truly-madly-deeply (I mean desperately :p How much I love music! Song lyrics swim in my head all the time!) needed somebody to go with her. After asking four or five people who could genuinely not go with her, she finally came to ask me. Poor thing :p

Friend: "Hey Archika! Wassup?"
Me: "..sky?..."
Friend: "Haha! I'm gonna get a guitar!"
Me: "Wow that's cool! Toh muje thodi na Nobel Prize mil gaya."
Friend: "Tu bhi kamal karti hai. Come along?"
Me: "No"
Friend: "Please??"
Me: "No"
Friend: "Pleeaaassee???"
Me: "NO"
Friend: "Pleeeaaaaaassssssseeeee????"
Me: "NO NO-NO NO NO NO!"

If you were to talk to Corazon and Mehr about me, they would tell you how painfully obstinate I can be. Nahi matlab nahi, bas, discussion khatm :p But if you were to prod them just a little more, they would also tell you how greedy and selfish I can be. Sigh, the curse of my life :p

I don't know how did she know about this weakness of mine, but Friend used it against me.

Friend: "Alright, I'll give you something in return. Will you come?"
Me: "Hmm..like what?"
Friend: "...Butterscotch shake from Keventer's?"
Me: "TWO."
Friend: "Huh, fine!"
Me: "I'm not done yet, you will have to get me a paneer kulcha too. And an orange ice lolly. And an auto ride, no rickshaw."
Friend: "GOD! It's December and you still want an icecream! Okay :p Anything else your highness :p"
Me: "One last thing, I want to be the first one to strum your guitar, shubh shuruwat :D NOW LET'S GO DUDETTE! :D"

Friend was as good as her word, I got all the treats that had been promised XD But she never let me touch her guitar again after that one time :p Why, you ask? Well, I did not wait to reach our destination and zipped out the tambura from its bag in the auto itself...and started singing while making awesome noise with the guitar-"Give me some sunshine/ give me some rain/ give me another chance I wanna grow up once again/ LA LA LALA OUWWA OUWWA TUMSE HAI TUMSE PYAR/ OUWWA OUWWA MANO NA MERE YAAR AAAAA....."

The driver and Friend were shocked to listen to this sangam of two awesome songs by the awesome me. Dind't I tell you, people are so constrained in their praise :(

I had started this story with the theme of 'while my guitar gently weeps'...but when the driver said, "Madam rehne do, policewale pakad lenge" I had no choice but to change it to 'while my guitar SCREECHES and WAILS' :p

Untill later, Cuidate!

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Ladification - II

( -continued)

That was how it was untill school, but college life brought a deadly shock.

There was this cousin of mine, let's call her Don, who I was particularly fond of. Though we saw each other annually, we were great buddies :) To this day we hold the record of not a single fight ensuing between us. As I child, I literally idolised Don. She wasn't a girl at all! (I meant, not a girl in her ways and mannerisms :p). Her playmates were her elder brother's friends; all the girls in the society envied and hated her; the only girlfriends she had were the teenagers who always danced on her finger tips; she could fight with and put down almost anyone; everybody at school knew her. What was their not to love about Don? :D Me and Don had many adventures toghether, beautiful memories, and timeless moments :) She was what I aspired to be...

And now imagine how crushed I was when I discovered that my idol had been ladified :'( On a particular visit after college had begun, Don showed me a perfect walk in heels. Her wardrobe had the most chic of stuff to the very stylish and traditional wear. She had a few "cute" watches; one of her ankles was adorned with the despicable thin wire with trinkets that girls are so fond of wearing; her earing collection was larger than mine (okay, this doesn't count :p It always was :p Infact, she was the one I stole from :p); her bag, I'm sorry, her handbag, was filled with the many cosmetic tubes that are still so alien to me; she had those cute and funky chappals; a few bracelets; a heart shaped pendant (eeewhhh! heart shaped! though its classy, still... :p), blah blah, blah blah and blah.

She even did a repeat of the Zahira episode with me :p My Don, my own gunda Don, was persuading me to go for threading (I'm so sick of all these naggings now) :p The four days that we were toghether all she talked about was stuff like this :-/ She kept telling me of her plans of having more ear-piercings, how her parlour appointments had been delayed, how the boys in college were going crazy about her. She even wanted to know of my opinion on whether she should have her hair rebonded (for the uninitiated, it's a treatment in which your dog-like hair is magically transformed to Pantene hair :p). Seriously, am I the one to ask all this about? Does she not know me yet? :-/ And for the record, her hair is already perfectly straight and silky smooth (alliteration!) :p

But the rudest shock of the ordeal was when we were (she, basically) getting ready to go out. Don settled herself in front of the mirror, whipped out a tiny kaajal-stick, and deftly lined her eyes with the black paste of coal.

I could only watch with my mouth wide open with shock and disbelief. I spent the rest of that evening in silence, as a mark of remembrance to the brave warrior in the battle against Ladification that Don had once been... :p

Untill later, Cuidate!

Ladification - I

Hulloh lovely readers! Muah, muah. I know how much you guys must have missed me. But you know how busy I usually am, don't you? :) Just wrapped up a photoshoot for Vogue and Maxim...I don't like to brag but the photographs are simply AMAZING! :) And had to really dodge Gudda..Rohit Bal you know, the poor guy wanted me to be the show stopper for his next collection. But I am so exhausted from overwork that I simply have to have a vacation with my Russian millionaire friend on his million dollar yatch. Its going to be so wonderful :D Ting-tong (door bell). Uh-oh...I wonder who's there...hmm, a package..oh no, another letter written in blood from one of my many anonymous admirers! It's all very sweet but these guys are really weird and silly haha :D

Bwahahahahaha! Snorting laughter! Laugh your as**s out! Isn't that the most incredible and funny thing I have EVER said!!! :D :p

The truth is, I belong to the privileged class of those few people who are utterly unbothered about their appearance. Every strand of hair on my head curling in contradicting directions, nails filled with cowdung, bringing up blackheads like my babies, perpetually covered with a microfilm of dust; that is just describing the days when I appear a tad bit "better" :p On my so-called bad-days (all days), I closely resemble Nakusha... :p When I wash my hair, I look like this:

And then like this:

Yeah right, keep up the goofy smile :p I remain unaffected. I will most often than not be the proud tomboy amongst a sea of pruned and groomed girls. The only thing I believe God created for comfort are a pair of jeans. Heels? Devil's creation. Cosmetics? Oh please, I'd rather save the Chinese from dragons while hanging from a cliff over boiling lava. Bracelets, pendents, accessories, what are they for? These things happily eluded me until the time for...hold your breath...LADIFICATION!!!

Let me elaborate.

Ladification # noun # verb: to ladify/ ladified/ ladifying. # adverb: ladily. # adjective: lady-like.

Definition: Ladification is the gradual and brutal process/ritual in which young innocent tomboyish girls are forced to change their ways in order to become a lady in their appearance, manners and conduct. Ladification is generally brought about abruptly, the irony lying in the fact that the victim is expected to adopt the changes as soon and as graciously as possible. The primary agents of ladification include peers (girls who started waxing their legs as soon as they grew out of diapers), friendly neighbourhood aunties (the ones that look like juicy cooked turkeys, the only difference is real turkeys don't apply deep magenta lipstick), relatives ("haye ni marjani, ab toh college mein aagayi hai, kam se kam ab toh ladkiyo jaise kapde pehen"), male classmates ("Dude, look at her legs and look at her legs"), etc.

Examples: 1) "Mrs. X's daughter is a teen now, it's high time we ladified her."

2) "Did you see Mrs. X's niece? She carries herself so ladily."

3) "You are right, her daughter is a junglee in comparison, nothing lady-like about her."

(Mrs. X in the above examples might be my mother :p)

So, though I knew about this cruel, highly prevelant practice, I never really had anything to worry about. Simply because I can be utterly stupid and absent-minded as and when it suits me :) For instance, in ninth standard, when Zahira came to show me her newly waxed legs, I just couldn't figure out what she was trying to show me. And no, I wasn't trying to be stupid, I really couldn't figure out what the big deal was. Not wanting to disappoint her eager face, I finally blurted out, "Wow...Zahira...you, er, look...um...FAIR!!!" Correct, that's what I said, that her legs looked 'fair' :p But she was a very sweet girl, she understood I had failed to notice, and kindly told me about waxing (that was how I became acquainted with the word and the procedure). And when she suggested me to undergo the same 'thing', I was horrified.

Zahira: "...so that's what it's all about. Don't I look nice? Why don't you get it done?"

Me: "Yeah, you look very pretty. But I really don't want to..."

Zahira: "Why? It'll be great! You must!"

Me:"No...I'm scared..."

Zahira:"Scared? Of your mum? C'mon!"

Me:"No idiot, I'm scared of the idea of a woman pulling hair out of my skin, and all that for the hair to grow back again! Now just SHUT UP!"

We reconciled soon :p

But the result of that incident was that the first time she had her brows threaded, the first time she had a facial, the first time she straightened her hair, the first time she bleached, the first time she strutted in heels, and the other first-times-that-are, she did not come up running to me eager with anticipation. It would be me who would finally notice when half the day had gone by and say to her, "Zahira, you look different, it's nice!" She would then smile, and then explain to me what was different. The truth is, I did need those explanations, because I never managed to figure out on my own what was different, other than the fact that something was different :p

That was how it was untill school, but college life brought a deadly shock.

(-to be continued)

The Joy Of Anticipation

The joy of a prayer being answered

Of a longing being fulfilled

Solitary moments coming to an end

The joy of distances being killed

The joy of a promise being honoured

Of destinies forever entwined

Drinking from the wisps of your fragrance

The joy of passions, strong and sublime

The joy of touching my dreams

Of a smile being smiled for real

Strolling together along boulevards

The joy of sharing the silent words

Life begins again only in your presence

The anticipation of a much-awaited arrival

The rest of my life unlived and still

Just trudging along for survival

Greatest is the joy of anticipation

Of happiness flooding once again

The joy of wishing and hopes soaring

Cherishing even the sweetness of your pain

The joy of being completed

Of peace and serenity

The joy when you say to me

Estoy enamorado de ti :)

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Back With A Bang

When DOS And I Talked

There are times when I feel completely off the hook. Which, in simple terms, means that I freak out completely and make the lives of my near and dear ones hell by going into compulsive talking mode. Those times are the ones when I feel so over-excited for no reason and that is followed by unadulterated jubiliation/sadness. Corazon and Mehr would know, for when I message them "Hey, guess what, I'm feeling drunk without drinking. So Talli :D Hehe", they know it signals trouble and they then suffer my persistent chatter. Well, whatever, I care for my fun alone :p

So yesterday was one such night when I had lost it completely. Well, no, I wasn't feeling tunn at all, but I had this irrepressible desire to talk to someone about nothing in particular, and the knowledge that the two jokers wouldn't be availabe only increased that desire exponentially. (Note: Rarely does it happen that I have the desire to talk just for the sake of it, because usually those urges are accompanied by main-talli-ho gayiii... :p) Anyway, with nothing particular to do, I decided to run MS DOS on my PC (I actually had two files and a project to submit immediately, but I was pretending not. I lost 20 marks today because of my laziness :D I'm so cool!). I was completely sure it wouldn't run given my brand new machine is from the zamana of Baba Aadam, but well, it did run!!! Somehow, instead of typing commands, I started doing something else and...I ended up having a nice little chat with DOS :p The following is the complete conversation between DOS and me. It is full of non sense, so please please please please DO NOT JUDGE ME FOR IT!! Every human succumbs to mistakes sometime or the other; I was being very kiddish last night. And it doesn't even seem so funny now, but I decided to post it anyway. Go ahead, have fun... :p

For your convenience, my part in the dialogue has been highlighted bold, rest of the words are what DOS said to me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Microsoft Windows XP [Version 5.1.2600]
(C) Copyright 1985-2001 Microsoft Corp.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>lol
'lol' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>haha i ws jst fooling wid u!!!
'haha' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>bah! u gt no sense f humour DOS...
'bah!' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>im jst ridculing u, do u need to be told the meaning f everything?? dats really gross :-/
'im' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>OMG!! nw u refuse to identify ME!!!!! hw cud u
do dis to meee????? *sob* *sob*
'OMG!!' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>u son of a bithch, OMG is Oh my god...dis tells
me dat ur not on facebook/orkut/myspace/chrome/dailyflog/or other stuff like dat and dats y u r not updated wid the latest lingo dude,...seriously DOS, ur so uncool,
dont u evr feel th need to go out there n make urslf noticd??? no seriously?
i mean look at ur half brother WINDOWS, he z so cool, ur a disaster DOS
'u' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>i just realized i misspelled bitch. im sorry.
so ur a son of a bitch. not son of a bithch. but it dsnt realy matter to u does
it?? bah!!
'i' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>duh..does ur vocabulary hav any words at all
DOS??? ur realy freaking me out
'duh..does' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>its okay, i know ur just pretending to not understand me. u knw im going thru one of my mood swings. or maybe im just once agn feeling drunk widout drinking?/(dats a talent f mine). or maybe im an alien. or
maybe in just a freak. watvr the case, u hv a good strategy DOS. its grt to
pretend to be ignorant. as i wlays say, ignorance is bliss.. so keep th cool okay?
bcoz very soon i'l go bak to b psuedo-normal again n go back to not talking to
stuff like DOS!
'its' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>im sorry, did i hurt ur feelings by calling u a
THING??? my bad. how could i do dat! let me make up to u. DOS i love u
'im' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>im is me DOS, i knw ur sick f my mood swings,
but it'd me nice fr u to atleast acknowledge my existence. but i forgive u. coz u
listen to me n let me talk to u DOS. DOS u myt nt b very cool but u hv a huge
heart. seriously.
'im' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>do u love me too DOS? i mean, how many ppl come n talk to u?? aren't u glad? u must have been deprived of company for ages. u r welcome :-*
'do' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>yeah, i knw 'do' wont b recgnized... i dnt wanna do nythng eithr, we'll just talk today okay?? we'll fuck u up some other time
n use ur commands wen im feeling mor normal. u love me?? i knw dat alrdy, so just shut up alryt!!
'yeah' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>u suck DOS. nw u dnt recognise 'yeah'. cant u
evn pretend to agree wid me? r u sch a male chauvnist pig? hv u evn noticd th
nmbr f spelling errors iv made? dnt u hv th courtsy to corect them on ur own? do u
nw realize y ur so uncool? WINDOWS ds al f it in WORD. u jst suck DOS. ur fucking jealous f ur half brother n u still cnt work up ur ass n do smthng abt it. no
wonder nobody loves u. n gues wat, i dont love u eithr. hah! eat potty now!!! u
sahn-ahf-ah-bahtch (dats son-of-a-bitch, if ur primitive mind couldnt understand
)
'u' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>bahahahahaha..wat els wud u do, u cnt take insult in ur face hahahaha!!!! al u cn do is go ovr n ovr o ovr agn n agn like a
parrot n say 'not recognised' 'not recognised' LOL. o hw i pity u hahah!! coz u gt
no answer to my accusations LOl.
'bahahahahaha..wat' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>its the laughter f victory DOS, wich u wont evr
get to xprnce coz im so fucking awesome
'its' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>potty u DOS
'potty' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>potty is the brown mass of indigestble stuff..o
i frgt ur jst an electronic manifestation of codes n cryptics n commnads n so u
nver tasted food n so u cant make potty of ur own. dats kind f sad. u dnt evn get to fart do u?? o poor u... dat cud b so mch fun. u shud realy taste food some
times. its osom! do u like mayonnaise??
'potty' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>leave potty now DOS. dnt mk ur heart sad over
it. but do u like mayonnaise? i like white mayonnaise more. i eat anything with
lemon/coconut/Shimla mirch/cream/mayonnaise in it, separately ofcourse
'leave' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>DOS im an incredible cook. dd u knw dat? so u
knw it now. i'l mk u smthng sometime okay? u'l love it. so wat do u like more DOS? undercooked food or burnt food? im an expert at both. u r welcome. i cn evn microwave th food fr u, if u order frm outside. dat wud b a btr option. u r welcome again.
'DOS' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>for-fucking-sake, DOS is u!! duh. LOL so u wr
so lost in the wonders f my food dat u forgot urself hmm? hahaha :) i like it.
'for-fucking-sake' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.


C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>now dont get naughty alryt, fuck is to..well, u
Knw... y cant u ask WINDOWS? im sure he must hv fuckud many virgin PC's. he goes into al f them LOL. bloody international thok-er hahahah
'now' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>now, no dont do it now! ul hav to find a miss
DOS first, if ur not gay that is. i'l help u set up with a pretty babe okay? ask
everybody, im an expert at helping ppl hook up LOL
'now' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>not now okay. listen to mommy. n wen u hook up,
do take precautions okay? ajkal duniya bahut kharab hai beta...
'not' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>good. not now :)
'good.' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>good yes :)
'good' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>stop repaeating after me!!!!
'stop' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>STOP!!!!
'STOP!!!!' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>this is not done DOS, i come to u to talk coz i
gt no one else to eat thier ears n this is wat u do to me? is this how u treat
ur frinds? do u want to b lft alone agn? shall i go bak to WINDOWS. we need to sort out the issues okay?
'this' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>u knw wat, im not taking anymore shit from u. u
suck dude. totally. ur such a lujjer
'u' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>lujjer. lujjer. lujjer. i hope ur babe is a
direct spin-off frm a K-serial. n she elopes wid WINDOWS. dat'l serve u ryt. n ul b
uncle to thier kids hahaha. n ul take them to and from the server to take their
lessons. n ul babysit them wen ur ex-babe n WINDOWS r off agn on der never ending honeymoon. n ul repent dat day for bahaving like dis to me. n ul regret every
thing coz i advised u to b cool but u ddnt listen. dat wil b th doom f u DOS. ur
a lujjer forever. goodbye DOS
'lujjer' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\Documents and Settings\compaq>exit

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's all :p

Untill later, Cuidate!

Vote for me now! Blogomania 2011 sponsored by CommonFloor.com - India’s Leading portal to find apartments for sale and apartments for rent