Maestro Me

Let me begin with a description of my musical abilities. I am exquisite! My vocals can be used as an alarm clock to wake up the deepest of sleepers. There is no difference between my high pitch and my low pitch notes, since I don't like to differentiate and make the other scales of notes feel bad. My appreciation of live band performances goes as far as acknowleding, "Aha! It is some tune after all!" I can skip concerts and not feel guilty (my very own bathroom concerts are so amazing, you see :p). The only person I can sing in chorus with is my dad, we are so amazing that others think we are horrible; people are so constrained in their praise, I tell you :p They can't even appreciate the new lyrics we fill the old Hindi songs with to go with the situation... :( I have never touched a single instrument in my life, simply because my inbuilt, god-gifted musical ability is complete in itself. I am so great that I don't care to remember songs by their titles, giving them names of my own...and still expecting people to understand. For instance, when Corazon once asked me if I had heard 'You Belong With Me' by Taylor Swift, I shook my head even though I had heard it. Crazy? Maybe...that song went by the name 'Sneakers' in my head, how was I expected to recognise?? :p

So moving on, a friend of mine, let's call her Friend, needed to buy herself a guitar. Friend was running on a deadline and she truly-madly-deeply (I mean desperately :p How much I love music! Song lyrics swim in my head all the time!) needed somebody to go with her. After asking four or five people who could genuinely not go with her, she finally came to ask me. Poor thing :p

Friend: "Hey Archika! Wassup?"
Me: "..sky?..."
Friend: "Haha! I'm gonna get a guitar!"
Me: "Wow that's cool! Toh muje thodi na Nobel Prize mil gaya."
Friend: "Tu bhi kamal karti hai. Come along?"
Me: "No"
Friend: "Please??"
Me: "No"
Friend: "Pleeaaassee???"
Me: "NO"
Friend: "Pleeeaaaaaassssssseeeee????"
Me: "NO NO-NO NO NO NO!"

If you were to talk to Corazon and Mehr about me, they would tell you how painfully obstinate I can be. Nahi matlab nahi, bas, discussion khatm :p But if you were to prod them just a little more, they would also tell you how greedy and selfish I can be. Sigh, the curse of my life :p

I don't know how did she know about this weakness of mine, but Friend used it against me.

Friend: "Alright, I'll give you something in return. Will you come?"
Me: "Hmm..like what?"
Friend: "...Butterscotch shake from Keventer's?"
Me: "TWO."
Friend: "Huh, fine!"
Me: "I'm not done yet, you will have to get me a paneer kulcha too. And an orange ice lolly. And an auto ride, no rickshaw."
Friend: "GOD! It's December and you still want an icecream! Okay :p Anything else your highness :p"
Me: "One last thing, I want to be the first one to strum your guitar, shubh shuruwat :D NOW LET'S GO DUDETTE! :D"

Friend was as good as her word, I got all the treats that had been promised XD But she never let me touch her guitar again after that one time :p Why, you ask? Well, I did not wait to reach our destination and zipped out the tambura from its bag in the auto itself...and started singing while making awesome noise with the guitar-"Give me some sunshine/ give me some rain/ give me another chance I wanna grow up once again/ LA LA LALA OUWWA OUWWA TUMSE HAI TUMSE PYAR/ OUWWA OUWWA MANO NA MERE YAAR AAAAA....."

The driver and Friend were shocked to listen to this sangam of two awesome songs by the awesome me. Dind't I tell you, people are so constrained in their praise :(

I had started this story with the theme of 'while my guitar gently weeps'...but when the driver said, "Madam rehne do, policewale pakad lenge" I had no choice but to change it to 'while my guitar SCREECHES and WAILS' :p

Untill later, Cuidate!

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